Uh... what?

I'm not exactly sure how I ended up there, but I did. I was at this bar in the Lower East Side, called BOB, a small venue, rather coffin like since it just extends straight down to the bar, and had booths lining the sides. That was it.

Oh I remember how I ended up there, it was a friend's going away party (she had actually already left by this point I think). Anyhow, Alanna and Shannon were there with me, Alanna was up and about, Shannon and I sitting on the booth, catching up.

Then this Asian girl (more like lady...) in a jeans jacket, walks up waving. Figuring she was someone's friend, we both waved back.

"Is someone sitting there?" she asked, pointing to some space between Shannon and I. We both looked at each other thinking it was weird she'd ask for the seat in between us, considering it didn't seem like she knew either one of us.

"No, go ahead," I replied, motioning to the empty spot.

So she puts her coat there.

"You don't remember me?" she says into my ear.

"Remember you?" I asked, completely confused. "I don't think I know you."

Up close, I could see the layers of makeup, which led me to notice that there was something odd about her clothes but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"I'm supposed to meet you."

I was completely lost. I had no idea who the hell she was, but yet she kept insisting. The look on my face must have been revealing, because her friend that I hadn't noticed until now, stepped up.

"You were here last week right?"

This was my second time at BOB. The first time being close to a year prior.

"Uhh, no, not at all, you have the wrong person."

"Are you sure?" they both looked just as confused as I did now.

"Umm yeah I'm pretty sure I'd know if I were here last week."

They looked at each other, said something then turned back to me.

"You look just like him, are you really sure?"

Oh my god, I'd fucking know if I were here last week or not.

"Yeah I'm sure."

Nodding reluctantly, they finally walked away.

"Who was that?" Shannon asked.

And when I said I had no idea, we started laughing and talking about what just happened. The crazy part is, Jeans Jacket came back to ask me again, if I was sure I wasn't this guy she was supposed to meet, and kept insisting that I looked just like him. She leaves again.

At some point during the night, I go out for a smoke. On my way back in, Jeans Jacket stops me (again!), and asks me what ethnicity I am.

"Oh I'm Taiwanese too!" she said excitedly, then pointing at both herself and me, "You, me, brother, sister."

"What?"

I was starting to get irritated. She actually repeated herself, meanwhile my "what" was of incredulity.

"Look, I don't have a sister."

"You don't want me as sister?"

"Uh no."

Then her invisible sidekick interjects.

"Are you here alone?"

Knowing what she meant, I played dumb.

"Nah, I'm here with my friends."

I pointed to my group, then just started walking away.

About an hour had passed by now. Who were these people? I guess it wouldn't have been such a big deal if she weren't 40ish, trying to act and dress like she were 20, and looking like she fell into a tub of makeup foundation.

So I'm sitting and talking to my friends, having a good time, started joking that Jeans Jacket was a prostitute and her invisible sidekick was her pimp. It wasn't actually too far fetched considering the vibe they were giving off.

Jeans Jacket started dancing around our area, inching closer and closer. My friends started semi-jokingly forming a wall around me to keep her out lol, Danielle dancing right up against her and bumping her away.

But her pimp still comes a-fucking-gain!

"Why aren't you dancing?"

I had enough.

"Look, I don't know you, or your friend, I don't care to talk to you, I'm not who you think I am, so just stop talking to me."

I actually had to tell her that twice because the first time she didn't hear or understand. But she was respectful and walked away. Jeans Jacket comes by a few minutes later, and her sidekick rushes up behind her, grabs her arm, points to me and shakes her head.

They disappeared again, came back but didn't say anything. Jeans Jacket just did some wave motion with her hand, pointed at me, then herself, then some other hand signs that I clearly didn't understand, because I just stared at her blankly. My jaw might have been hanging open actually. Then she turned around and left.

Was she just nuts? My friends and I just looked at each other frowning, completely confused as to what that whole little episode was. But it was a relief that she was finally gone. She was bothering me for a total of 2.5 hours!

To this day I still don't know if she was a prostitute or not. I forgot what it was, but there were a few little things that happened that night that led me to lean more towards that conclusion. It's either that, or she really did meet someone there the week before and they were supposed to meet again. I'm not sure what the whole sister/brother thing was though, but I'm pretty sure that's gotta be the worst pickup line ever lol.