Wednesday, December 16, 2009

What We Lose

I just read something on a friend's blog, and it was about faith. Not faith in religion, or even faith in yourself, but rather, faith in other people.

Pondering my own faith in others or humanity as a whole never crossed my mind before. Why? I guess I thought becoming cynical and losing that faith was part of growing up. As a kid and teenager I was very idealistic, very trusting, and I believed in the intrinsic good in people, honestly believing that they would, ultimately, do what's right.

As I "matured," or more accurately, "aged," I lost it. Cynical and blase, I'm now under the impression that the majority of people will do what it takes to advance their own position in life, with little regard to others around them. Humanity has always been its own worst enemy, doomed to commit suicide.

After a couple betrayals it's hard to trust people. I guess I'm fortunate that I was naturally more trusting than others, and as such my experiences have tapered that down to a healthier level, and I'm still able to trust.

But of the millions of people out there who cannot, who are or feel alone and isolated, what are they to do? Everyone's so caught up in their own little worlds, rushing about to make ends meet, to feed their stomach, to sleep under a roof, we all lost the appreciation of the little things in life, and we've lost sight of the bigger picture. What is that bigger picture? I have no idea, I'm just as caught up in my own self-created world.

When I think of having faith in others/humanity again, it makes me tingly inside, like it's a childish idealistic dream, like utopias, chased but never caught. But what if that's not necessarily the case? What if what's warped is not the dream, but reality? What if we really do lose a little more of ourselves with each passing year, but yet, we call it becoming wiser, being more realistic?

Whichever the case, we die and are reborn every day of our lives. If this is what my life shaped me to be, then so be it, I can only truly learn from my past experiences. We all want to stay true to ourselves, yet we never fail to compromise our beliefs, our stance, our being. If you can't beat em, join em, right? =/

How many of us grow up actually living our dreams? How much do we give up? What did you have to lose, to not be shunned by this god-forsaken society?

But I will NOT lose in the end. Sacrifices are sometimes necessary in order to attain your goals, just don't let them be in vain. The day I stop wondering, the day I stop pondering, the day I stop questioning, is the day I truly die. Until then, hopefully we can all find a way.

"Perhaps, if we stop to listen, and wonder, and accept, that faith can one day be restored." -Eva

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